I lost....

Wow dude, that really sucks

Best of luck to you.

 

I think it would be better seeing her than not. Even if it hurts, it will be better for her. Remember not to tell her if her mother was wrong or something, becuase kids hate have 2 people trying to convince them on opposite views.

But seeing your daughter would probably do more for her, and yourself than you would realize.

 

I agree, don't shut your daughter out of your life. That's probably the worst thing you could do for yourself, and most especially her. I've seen many father/daughter bonds be strengthened by hardships such as this.

Don't make her suffer by losing a father.

 

Hang in there MTX, for your and your daughter's sake. Don't let her grow up without a daddy. Take whatever time you can and cherish those moments.

 

Currently my son lives in Ohio and I live in Georgia. Granted he is now 16 but even having him every other weekend when I was in Ohio was great. Did I get to raise him the way I wanted, probably not. Do I get some influence, yes, little but it is there.

Am I his best friend, bet your life on it. Even his friends say that he has it great, someone who takes the time to be there when he needs it (to many people now days don't take the responsibility of their children, don't be one of them) You will be amazed at how much your child will respond even when you see them rarely.

Another word of advice, don't bad mouth her mom when she is around, no matter what. We where always positive when talking about his mom and it made a big differance, he never felt trapped between 2 parents.

Just my 2 cents

Otto

 

I have not gone through anything like that so I will keep my optinion on what you should do to myself.

All I want to say is Good Luck in Hawaii. It is a beautifull place, and hopefully it will be good for you. We are always here...and you know that.






ps...I rolled out of my chair the first time I read "Irony I Snot"...Found it funny...I know what you ment, but it caught me weird.

 

Poor MTX. It's all about you, mtx. It's good you've found a way to escape because there's not a good enough reason for you to stick it out here and make things work. Nothing here worth you being uncomfortable.

Who wants to stick around and raise kids anyway? Too much trouble. Just leave the kid with her emotionally abusive mother and don't bother sending any child support. Oh, make sure she doesn't know where you live, either. Don't want the brat showing up later in life expecting something out of you. Have fun in Hawaii. It's all about you.

 

Queen - If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Your laying a guilt trip on him is not cool. If you don't agree with his actions fine. No reason to be a total bitch about it. I'm appauled at reading your post.

MTX, Sorry about your loss bud. I know this has to be very hard for you. Eventully the pain will go away. Try to keep your chin up. I can say from my own experience that my dad coming for weekends, and all the visiting, and the BS between him and my mom, did more to screw my sister and I up then it did to help us.

You wish you had known your father, and I wish i had neve known mine.

 

Dane: It's different for each family. I have friends that see their father once a month and they are fine, I think it has something to do with the fact that the Mother and Father are supportive of the children, and do not share any animosity towards each-other.

My parents, well they are both great. But mom likes to sully fathers image and likes to play the stupid 'divorced' games. Dad, well he just says whatever. He is more interested in my sister and I and how we are doing versus what mom has been saying. He does listen to our rants about mom, but there is never a chance he'll ever use anything we say against her. If we are mean about mom, dad makes us stop, calm down, and think before we discuss.

They are grown-ups, so they better act like grown-ups. Don't drag children into the mess and use them as a peg against eachother, that's just plain wrong.


Queen: I understand your viewpoint. Though, I didn't want to say it.

 

I probably don't know enough on the subject to comment on this.

But I would never leave my child planning never to see them again. Even if the courts decided I could only see my kid once a year, I would take it. Your daughter isn't only your ex-wife's. She's yours as well. Don't let your ex take what rightfully belongs to you as much as her.

Completely disassociate yourself with your ex if necessary. If she has caused you so much pain, don't put up with her. But your daughter has done nothing to you to deserve to never see you again. I'm sure she has provided countless joyful moments in your life. As have you provided to her.

You haven't lost yet. Don't let your ex beat you.

 

I can only wonder how my half-brothers would have felt if my dad had shut them out of his life when he married my mom. They had it rough as it was. And they were older than your daughter is, mtx.

Kids without fathers often don't do so hot. I can't imagine the pain you're going through, mtx, but I am sure that your daughter will have a full and thorough education in pain if you leave her now.

 

I pray when I do have kids that I never have to experience the hell you're starting to go through. God bless you MTX and I pray you have the strength to carry on as best you can.

My prayers are with you chief.

 

Coming from a kid, I would say probably the most important thing that his "brat" would be expecting from him, would be wanting to know him. I would hate to not know my father, and know that hne didn't want anything to do with me.


Just a point of view.

 

Most of you failed to read between the lines in Queenrcket's message.

In a way, MTX got it. And he should. after all, "Life is something we learn by doing."

~PM~

 

I know what she was trying to do, and it went way beyond the realms of good taste.

 

I've never been in a situation like this before. But my best wishes go out to you and your daughter and I will keep you in my prayors.

 

Man I agree with Dane here. In his situation and many others, I can understand that not everything in life works out just peachy.

But otherwise, for the Transformer.

FYI, not sure how I managed to double-post with only the quote in the first one. Oh well.