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It's GREAT - long post

Discussion in 'General Open/Public Discussion' started by Brokentusk, 4 Jan 2011.


  1. Brokentusk

    Brokentusk DragonWolf

    I want my Christmas vacation back.

    12-22 Do a load of laundry. Find laundry room with a lot of water on the floor.
    No biggie. That drain can be a pain, so dump some drain cleaner in and head to bed. It's a 100 year old sewer line, so what can you do?

    12-23 Next morning, get up and find the water hasn't budged an millimeter. Call a plumber and a guy comes out. He pulls a 5 gallon bucket of tree roots out. Mixed with what he called dryer sheets. I didn't have the heart to tell him they were the bleach wipes my girlfriend used to clean the bathroom. Though I know he's dealt with worse. He finds a separation, it will need to be fixed at some point. But I can't fix it now, the expense is hefty.

    Repair is $4000, plus another $1000 to remove a 100 year old oak, and another $1000 to remove a 20x20 concrete patio. $6K, and it would only fix. For $6800 they can do trenchless replacement of the entire line. (They would discount the work they already did if I did it within a month)

    12-27 Run a load of laundry, water on the floor again. Uh oh. Slowly the water goes down. Moments like this make you wonder why you would own a house.

    12-28 Have a shower, some water, in the laundry room again. Not bad. Later that day it gets slower. It's obvious that the separation has done something. I call my home loan guy, who does his thing that makes me recommend him to everyone. I call the plumber, and they can't get out until Jan 3.

    12-30 Complete closure. I have an inspiration, call a port-o-potty place and they deliver one within an hour. It was like camping at home.

    1-3 They start digging to run the hole for the trenchless replacement. So they find out why it failed again. The tree roots were basically holding my sewer together. When the water dump from the washer hit the cracked ceramic pipe, they popped loose and clogged it completely. I need to measure the amount of yard trenched vs untrenched. With the line 9 feet underground they dug a hole I could have hid a couple Cadillacs in. Seriously, it was 8 deep, 4 wide and about 25 feet long. I could have hidden war crimes in that thing. Plus a second hole about half that long where the collapse was. I bet half the yard is trenched.

    Now I could flush a bucket of tennis balls.
     
  2. Sounds like a good unit of measurement going forward. I'd recommend using metric eg: centi-war crime is 1/100th of a war crime.
     
  3. symen

    symen DragonWolf

    I propose the following scale, based on the International System of Units (SI):

    nano-war crime: 1 billionth of a war crime (for example, forgetting to clean up after your dog when he poops on the sidewalk; but only as an isolated incident, repeated "forgetting" qualifies as a micro-war crime).
    micro-war crime: 1 millionth of a war crime (flatulence in an elevator containing no less than five people, and no more than twelve).
    milli-war crime: 1 thousandth of a war crime (punching a random person in the face or groin area; torso or extremities do not qualify, nor does punching somebody who is being kind of a dick).
    centi-war crime: 1 hundredth of a war crime (going on a rampage where somebody important, such as a celebrity, political figure, or someone with a lot of money, dies; an ordinary rampage where only regular people die does not qualify).
    deci-war crime: 1 tenth of a war crime (voting for a member of the other political party).
    war crime: (getting caught on camera shooting unarmed civilians; alternatively, being the guy who gave Justin Bieber a record deal, or Justin Bieber himself).
    deca-war crime: ten war crimes (lack of appropriate bloodthirst when the nation you live in goes to war).
    kilo-war crime: one thousand war crimes (genocide where the resulting war is lost; if the resulting war is won, you become a national hero).
    mega-war crime: one million war crimes (methodical extermination of the human species).
    giga-war crime: one billion war crimes (reality television).

    :p
     

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